I Am A Thesis (And So Can You): Part 1
From day one I treated graduate school as a joke. Before I even arrived in the Arizona desert to begin my Master’s program at ASU I knew I wanted to write my thesis on The Colbert Report. I spent the next year and a half figuring out what it would look like. As I put the final touches and prepared to graduate I also knew I wanted to send it to him. I actually told my graduate committee that my ultimate plan for this 120 page masterpiece was not to get it published but to get on the show. It was definitely quite a thing to say during my defense, “sorry to break it to you all but this was just an elaborate plan to get on TV.”
A thesis about a comedy show, especially one that rhetorically analyzes it, should have some jokes in for good measure. I had to take the writing somewhat seriously on account of the whole “they are going to give me a graduate degree for this” and all. So I opted to save it for the dedication page. Which reads as such:
This thesis is dedicated to Stephen Colbert, an American hero who truthily “gets it.” Thanks for agreeing to have me on your show.
This project has now been in the making longer than my Master’s program. In the two years since my thesis defense my friends and I have come with some great ideas. I’ve got the cover letter ready and a series of photoshopped images of Colbert reading my thesis, as I am sure he is dying to do. The one at the right is one of my faves.
Too good to pass up right?
Obviously I’ve already run into a few roadblocks, namely that I can’t get anyone at Comedy Central to return my emails. Minor details. I think the next step is to clearly send it anyway and see what happens. Maybe if I tape one of the images to the outside of the package they’ll have to take it. I mean look at the craftsmanship on that Photoshop!
When I first started getting this going my friend Lydia suggested I write about the process of sending my thesis to The Colbert Report. So this is my initial chronicling of a journey that I am certain will only end with immense fame and fortune. Or a thank you note. I’d take that too.
What this all boils down to is this: The only thing read by less people than my thesis is this blog. I’m hoping to change both of those.